As I was listening to the song 'You Are Home to Me by Jason Upton, I felt convicted to sit down and pray. I heard from God and He spoke to me. Each word was so sweet.
Michael, I want to use you.
But you have such a divided heart.
If you give me all of your heart, I will use you and the things you do will be written down in redemptive history and they'll have far reaching impact into eternity.
But Lord, I replied, it is so hard. You know the things I struggle with.
What great thing is not also costly?
Then something strange and sudden. I felt as if God's countenance was smiling at me. So different from how I often view God looking at me. Usually serious and worried. But there was the biggest smile on His face, until that smile broke into a grin. It was as if sometimes I take my life too seriously all the while God knew it would all be okay. As if all my sins and ways I have let Him down didn't decrease His lovingkindness toward me.
Michael, Arise, eat and drink, for the journey is long ahead of you.